1. I need to go to the restroom so seriously.
Like, more awful than I’ve ever needed to go to the washroom ever before; everybody is fortunate I don’t drop trou amidst the expressway Hello, kindred workers! Extraordinary climate we’re having!—in light of the fact that momma has got the opportunity to go.
2. Goodness, that is irregular; I’m attempting to pee yet nothing is turning out.
Quickly took after by: OUCH OMG THE BURN OUCH SOMEONE PUT ME OUT OF MY MISERY WHHHHYYYYY. (That is a mellow response.)
3. I neglected to pee after sex the previous evening and this is all my own flaw.
Also, THIS is the thing that I get for being the laziest individual on Earth. Simply your day by day update that being a woman is hard in some cases. Do we simply get the opportunity to move over and go out after sex like fellas? Nooooo, we need to burn through five minutes in the lavatory after intercourse just to capacity typically the following day. Much appreciated, Universe! (JK, I am not saying thanks to you for anything at this time, Universe.)
4. This is all my sweetheart’s flaw.
*Shakes clench hand at all men forever.*
5. I realize that one in every five ladies gets an UTI in her lifetime however I have a feeling that I get them like once per week?
Alright, that is a distortion however I sense that I get them more than the national normal. I take really fair care of myself, so what gives? *Makes note to self to contact own National study and get to the base of this.*
6. How quick would I be able to get some cranberry chewy candies?
By what other method am I gonna get the urinary tract advantages of one glass of cranberry juice without needing to drink an entire glass of cranberry juice? I know you hear what I’m saying. Unsweetened cranberry juice is about as lovely to swallow as sulfuric acid and AZO Cranberry® Gummies are quick, powerful, and simple to get down. Besides they even arrive in a blended berry flavor. Yes, please!*
7. Oooh… would I be able to not go to work today?
“Apologies, can’t come in; I need to sit in a corner and weep for the following 24 hours. See you tomorrow! Perhaps!” Now, where did I put that Pinot Noir from a week ago’s supper party?
8. Hold up a moment. No liquor?
Be that as it may, by what other method will I adapt to the agony!? *Cries forever.* *Pops another AZO cranberry gummy.*
9. I need to content every one of my sweethearts to empathize instantly.
Now is the ideal time to connect with all the women who keep it truly genuine in my life. Me: “Ugh UTI city here.” Sheila: “I’m going over with some Thai; how about we watch Netflix and paint our nails and cry about how the universe is unjustifiable.” Me: “I cherish you more than I’ve ever cherished anything.” Sheila: “I know, bb. See you in 60 minutes!” And that, my companions, is the means by which women accomplish things.
10. I am just wearing granny underwear starting now and into the foreseeable future.
Breathable cotton clothing that are so enormous the whole cast of Gray’s Anatomy (all seasons) in them are the name of the diversion from now on. *Burns thongs and sits tight for Sheila to spare